Even though I'm employed full-time (and have been for years), my resume has been up on job sites in the past. This is okay, because there might be a job out there that has better pay, is closer, or is more interesting work. I thought that it would be nice to let recruiters do the job search work, and let me know of any good openings.
It hasn't worked out that way.
The first thing that you need to realise about recruiters is that you are not the customer in this relationship. The recruiter is trying to find a warm body that they can sell to the employer, and your interests don't matter in that equation. They are, basically, pimps. Recruiters will lie, wheedle, and exploit any vulnerability that they can in order to deliver for their employer: your potential new boss.
In the case of the local Twin Cities labour market, they have an unenviable task. There's a shortage of skilled workers. Anyone that has marketable skills and is sitting around unemployed probably is someone with "issues". These issues could run from horrible personalities, mental health issues, chronic medical problems, to substance abuse. This is compounded by employers with an unrealistic grasp of the labour market, and a view towards their employees as disposable. Most of these companies seem to believe that they can have their pick of dozens of highly-qualified candidates, each of which will crawl on their hands and knees to beg for the position, and will eagerly accept low pay.
The reality is that everyone is already working (except for those with "issues"), and the employer will have to hire them away from someone else. In the average case, someone has retired and the company needs to replace them. They announce the opening and wait for the line to form at the door the next day. There is no line. Then they consult their "contacts" in the field, or "word of mouth" among current employees, to find great people who are somehow also very desperate. Weeks pass, then months. They try free employment services, such as the State job service. More time passes, the situation becomes critical, and the recruiter is called.
I should point out that the employer has now created a very bad situation, and they've compounded their problems. Months of work has piled up, their current employees have struggled to handle the workload (for no extra pay), and morale is failing. Anyone that the recruiter finds will walk in to a horrible mess. There will be no time to train them or let them find their way around the company's system. And the other employees will not be inclined to help.
On top of that, the expectations of the employer are that this paid recruiter will dig up several miracle-workers that are mysteriously familiar with their company, their software, their culture, and their equipment. They have probably realised that their pay scale is woefully out of sync with the labour market, and they've resigned themselves to increase it. But, at those wages, they will demand the perfect candidate. So, they make the position "contract for hire". This will let them try out the poor victim at a lower wage to determine if this sucker really is the perfect candidate. At this point, the employer has likely tried some of those people with "issues" out of desperation, and this has only hardened their resolve and dug that hole deeper.
At no point does it occur to this employer that they are asking someone to leave a permanent, full-time job with benefits for the chance to possibly gain a permanent, full-time job with benefits -- should the poor sucker "play their cards right".
And this is the clown that the poor recruiter has to satisfy if they expect to be paid.
Basically, most of these recruiters are just digging through online resumes on Monster, Indeed, the State database, or ancient resumes the agency has on file.
And so they end up calling victims such as myself.
And so begins the stupid and ugly dance of deception. You will get a
phone call -- probably to your cell phone while you are at work. It will
go like this:
"Are you currently looking for work?" is the first question. In the past, I explained that I'm currently employed but open to new and better opportunities. This is the wrong answer. What the recruiter really means is, "Are you unemployed and desperate for any work whatsoever?". Anything besides a clear and unequivocal "No" will be conveniently 'heard' as, "Yes, I'm desperate to find a new job. Please, please tell me that you have an opening".
"I want to tell you about a great opportunity" is the next step. Spoiler alert: no matter how shitty this company is, how low-paying the position, how unrealistic the expectations, it's a "great opportunity" to the recruiter. Basically, this phrase really means that the recruiter is fairly sure that the employer's paycheck won't bounce.
By remaining on the line, you are strongly implying that you are a desperate sucker ready to be taken advantage of. It doesn't matter what actual words you say. The recruiter will 'hear' something entirely different.
"This company is a leader in its field" means absolutely nothing. It's really the recruiter's way of informing you that they know nothing about the position. They may continue with some broad financial information -- "they have revenues of over $6 million", for example. Again, this means nothing in terms of the position. Presumably, it's supposed to imply that the company is stable. This doesn't mean that the position is stable, however. The mere fact that they hired a recruiter means that it isn't a "fly-by-night" outfit because the recruiting agency did sufficient research to assure themselves that the employer could come up with their fee.
So the recruiter has already wasted your time with meaningless garbage that tells you nothing about the job, the company culture, the opportunities for advancement, the wage, etc. The purpose of this meaningless garbage is to gauge your level of interest.
If you haven't hung up the phone by this point, the recruiter is feeling pretty good. They've found a "sucker" that just might make them some money. Worst case is that they'll be able to deliver a resume to prove their value to the customer -- which, again, is not you.
"Can you send me a copy of your current resume?" is the next step. This is a sure-fire clue that the recruiter has dug up an old resume on-line, justifying their fee by merely doing a Google search. You, as the victim in this little scheme, will be expected to do the remainder of their work for them. Should you not have an updated resume, you will provide the effort for this process to move forward. The worst case is the recruiter will now have yet another up-to-date resume in their files, making themself more valuable and allowing them to annoy you more effectively in the future with their "great opportunities".
Even more annoying is when you have provided multiple up-to-date resumes to this agency in the past. Either that information has been kept by the previous recruiters for their own uses, or the recruiter has not even bothered to check the agency's own files. Providing yet another copy is stupid. At a minimum, the recruiter is merely trying to determine how big of a sucker you are. Any updated information is highly likely to be used by the recruiter in their future attempt to wheedle you into spending time in an interview.
If you still haven't hung up the phone, ask them where their information shows you as working last. If it's very old, you're not dealing with a good recruiter and you should hang up. If it's up-to-date, then they are wasting your time and you are merely confirming their suspicion that you are desperate for work by sending them a duplicate. Either lie to them and promise to send them a new copy (but don't) or ask them to work with the information that they already have.
In future conversations, the recruiter will lie relentlessly. They will not reveal the name of the employer, and they will probably be very vague as to location. I've had recruiters give the location of the potential job as merely "the metro area", when the truth is that the job is in some far-flung suburb with a 40 minute commute each way. Whatever your desired wage, the recruiter is very likely to say that it's "in their range". This means nothing. When push comes to shove, the recruiter will coach the potential employer on how to lie: the employer will "start you out" at a lower wage until you've "proven yourself", or they will talk about the "great benefits" (which are, undoubtedly, merely average) or the chance to rise in the organisation (should you demonstrate that you are sufficiently gullible by taking a pay cut).
Just keep in mind that you are the one taking all of the risk. If the potential employer isn't confident enough in your ability to handle the job by looking at your resume or posing questions, then they are really just looking at you as a short-term solution until an even bigger sucker comes along. You will have left a steady job with higher pay for a terrible situation that will probably end up with you getting fired. Best of all, the recruiter would then have a truly desperate, highly-skilled sucker that they can shop around to even worse employers. There is no "downside" for the recruiter in this situation. If you manage to last 90 days, the recruiter will get a hefty fee and the agency will look good. And the recruiter will lie to and wheedle both you and the employer to ensure that you don't get fired within that time period.
Also keep in mind that, if the employer is calling a recruiter, the position has probably been vacant for at least six months. You will be walking into a nightmare. The recruiter will have told the employer that you are absolutely fantastic and are more than up to the challenge; they will tell you nothing about this. There's probably a very good reason that "word of mouth" has failed to find someone, after all. The average person is disinclined to lie to friends in order to get them into a crappy job -- even if there's a "bonus" involved.
The entire recruiter game is one big con. If the position really was a "great opportunity", there would be little trouble finding someone to fill it. In fact, by taking the position, you are actually just confirming the employer's unrealistic assessment of the labour market and their belief that there's a limitless supply of highly-skilled suckers out there. The employer will happily toss you aside at their convenience, because they now 'know' that the recruiter can easily line up another sucker at will.
Your best bet is to watch the online job listings. Send a few resumes out to good-sounding prospects. Be up-front and firm about your expected pay and benefits. Ask for details of the benefits. Every place will tell you that they have "great" benefits. "Company-paid medical" doesn't mean a damn thing. If you have vacation built up, tell the employer that you expect to walk in with that same amount of PTO. Refuse to take a pay cut. This is still "early innings" with the employer. Time is on your side. The pressure is on them to get someone hired. You are already employed, after all. If they are stubborn and hold out for a recruiter to find someone, you just dodged a bullet. If they realise that the labour market has changed in the 30 years since they hired their last guy, then they have your name and they can reach you when they decide to be reasonable.
Nothing about this requires a recruiter.
